you know what they say about idle hands

when you hear "not right now," you do not hear the implied promise of "but later." you do not hear the regret in the person's voice. you do not hear the apology that follows.

what you have heard, my love, is "not right now," and to you that means "no," it means pitying the poor one who needed something to do and got disappointed. and that's you.

you don't want pity and you don't want later, but is it because you're impatient or because you live in the moment? are they the same thing? you don't want to think about the future. it's a big thing, far away, full of possibility and other plans to make. you don't have to figure anything out but the present.

or maybe you just get bored that easily.