I never never lied. or I never tried to. or I never thought you'd find out I did. who ever said honesty is the best policy? I'm trying to keep you sane. I'm trying to help you.
don't look at me like that. you don't know how it feels. you don't have the guilt I'm lying awake with. do you tell your friend how fucked up you are, fuck her up, bring her into your fucked up mind? or do you keep it all to yourself and hope that you don't explode, because that would just hurt her worse?
I don't know, I don't know, I was never lying before when I told you i would stop. I love you and you make me want to stop and I feel like I can when you're there.
but you're not, not always. I could never explain to you how it feels to be suffocatingly alone in the world. do you want me to tell you about the voices in my head, the skeletons in my closet, the razor in my drawer? because I know you want to know and help and sympathize but I'll just drag you down.
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