breakfast

we joked with the doctor in the ER

about the Disney wallpaper and the stupid

soap operas, the only thing 

on at three in the 

morning

it didn't feel like morning,

like waking up

like waiting with my sister to see the sun rise

or like chocolate chip waffles, Lucky Charms

it felt like running on adrenaline and gross,

because I hadn't showered yet,

and realizing my sweater was on inside out because

we'd left so quickly, Dad had been so worried

I made a face when they pricked my finger

and at the charcoal drink

complained that it was nasty, 

chalky-sweet stuff, 

though it might be saving my life

(no one mentioned that last part;

or that I had no right to complain about taste

when I'd managed to swallow 20 Excedrin tablets

with no trouble

no one said, "well, at least you got here quickly;

some people need an IV of this stuff,

need their stomach pumped,

you're one of the ones we can fix easily

with just a drink to absorb all the bad

and a few years of therapy"

the nurses just laughed politely 

at how it turned my teeth black.

I smiled dark and gross at them.)