you spend your whole life a scared little girl, you start to wonder when it's your turn. your mentality twists and turns and becomes a mean thing saying, let's scare them just as badly.
so you're still a little girl, scared of the things that hurt and the people you love getting hurt and the people you love that hurt you, but now you're looking for ways to hurt everything back.
it's a game, seeing how far you can push things. it's fun shocking people, if it's jumping out in front of them and screaming or going on a blackout binge at a party. it's all the same, right? of course it is. and even if you get in trouble, it will never be that bad. your mom can fix everything with soup and hugs.
but you're supposed to grow up and out of it at some point. mom gets tired of bandaging your scars and letting you stay home from school and pretending she doesn't know that you're capable of lying. then what do you do, little girl? try and forge ahead without her?
you'll never learn.
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