heartbeast

you know when you're holding on to something really tightly? so tightly that your fingers kind of go all numb? as tightly as you can because for some reason this thing is important. really important. you don't want to lose her- it, ever.

and you're holding on tightly, and you can feel your heartbeat in your fingertips, because of your circulation or something, but you're holding too tightly, definitely. so you have to let go of h- it.

but once you let go, your fingers tingle and feel too light and you want to hold on again, but it's gone. you've lost her forever. it forever.

and then you remember why you were holding on so tightly, but it's too late.